My Dog Is Called Dave Your Point Is Invalid

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"We went on one date, I met her at the post office, we had a coffee. I wasn’t interested in pursuing things further, I told her that, very clearly. I started receiving phone calls, facebook messages, texts, e-mails, she showed up at my house. I made it clear to her that her advances were unwanted, and then I began receiving threats. I changed my phone number, my e-mail account and I moved. Twice. Each time she found me. When I started dating my current girlfriend, Angela, she showed up at Atlantic City where we had gone for the weekend. She left notes on my car, she threw trash on my lawn, she left voice-mails yelling about how I wasn’t helping enough with the dog. I don’t even have a dog. And then she threatened to strangle Angela, that’s when I got a restraining order. We found a home-made explosive device under Angela’s car."

(Source: yourtugboatcaptain)

cyclopette:

*wakes up at 9* nice

*immediately falls asleep, wakes up at noon* less nice

blackcorvo:


h-o-r-n-g-r-y:

ciderandsawdust:

Our first attempt at a Swedish fire log was a smashing success.

burns for hours and it looks beautiful.

I’ve never heard of that but looks really freakin cool

blackcorvo:

h-o-r-n-g-r-y:

ciderandsawdust:

Our first attempt at a Swedish fire log was a smashing success.

burns for hours and it looks beautiful.

I’ve never heard of that but looks really freakin cool

somesickcat:

reminder that this is a thing that actually happened

(Source: tom-mess)

thechanelmuse:

Meet Cory Nieves. He’s a dapper, 10-year old CEO of Mr. Cory’s Cookies who started his own booming cookie business in an effort to help his mom buy a car after moving from NYC to New Jersey in 2009.

gollums-new-best-friend:

chileanboyvstheworld:

this guy is a guardian of the galaxy 

I feel safer already

(Source: mcaubergine)

officialnatasharomanoff:

wantstobelieve:

#microwave ding

#your boyfriend is ready

(Source: prettyprettyday)

lindsaylohoean:

the only nation i will ever rule is procrastination

(Source: lindsaylohoean)

swagittariuss:

best-of-text-posts:

princesszeldafitzgerald:

OKAY SHIT EVERYBODY LISTEN 
SO I GOOGLED THIS BECAUSE I WANTED TO KNOW WHERE IT WAS FROM AND I FOUND OUT WHAT THE MOVIE WAS CALLED AND SHIT 
AND THE GIRL IN THIS PICTURES NAME IS MOLLY STEWART
MOLLY STEWART
AND IF I DO REMEMBER PROPERLY
SCHOOLGIRL BY DAY AND ALTER EGO BY NIGHT IS THE ENTIRE PLOT OF HANNAH MONTANA 
IN WHICH THE MAIN CHARACTERS NAME IS 
MILEY STEWART
THEY LITERALLY BASED A CHILDRENS FRANCHISE OFF AN 80S MOVIE ABOUT CHILD HOOKERS

wait a minute

the world needs to know about this

swagittariuss:

best-of-text-posts:

princesszeldafitzgerald:

OKAY SHIT EVERYBODY LISTEN 

SO I GOOGLED THIS BECAUSE I WANTED TO KNOW WHERE IT WAS FROM AND I FOUND OUT WHAT THE MOVIE WAS CALLED AND SHIT 

AND THE GIRL IN THIS PICTURES NAME IS MOLLY STEWART

MOLLY STEWART

AND IF I DO REMEMBER PROPERLY

SCHOOLGIRL BY DAY AND ALTER EGO BY NIGHT IS THE ENTIRE PLOT OF HANNAH MONTANA 

IN WHICH THE MAIN CHARACTERS NAME IS 

MILEY STEWART

THEY LITERALLY BASED A CHILDRENS FRANCHISE OFF AN 80S MOVIE ABOUT CHILD HOOKERS

wait a minute

the world needs to know about this

fandoms-are-my-one-true-love:

I got home to these messages. Apparently my friend started watching Supernatural…